40; Forty; Four-Tee

June 18th, 2021 marked my 40th trip around the Sun. I’m still in awe, like “wow, I’m really 40”. As the date approached I was feeling good; no dread and no pity party. Some self-reflection occurred, which did lead to some slight negative thoughts, such as “damn, I’m turning 40 with no Bae or potential Bae, and no kids”. Though true, those thoughts were short lived, because overall my life is great! I have what I need. I have support from family and friends. I’m employed. I have my home. I’ve done well.

I welcomed 40 with a simple celebration. I had a resort trip in mind, but didn’t plan it since I was not sure how “outside” was going to be with the pandemic still going on. I had a few of my favs join me in a beautiful garden space for dinner. It was a lovely evening with good food and drinks. Pride weekend was the following weekend, I turned up a bit. Went to a paint-and-sip, then the bar. Hit up Adults Night Out at the Zoo (it was whack). And, went up to North Halsted which was crazy packed. Black Pride weekend was then the following weekend lol. Went to a cocktail party held at the same outdoor space as my dinner. Went to an awesome day party the next day. I also spent time with the family that weekend. I’ve been having a good ass time!

As ya’ll know from previous posts (and the entire point of this blog), I’ve been working to be in good health mentally and physically. Though 2020 threw a wrench in both of those journey’s, I’m definitely not where I used to be. Mentally, I feel great. I feel a little more confident in myself. I feel like I walk around with my head up a bit more. I feel a lot less worried about what others may be thinking about me. The self-love is starting to pop… Physically, yeah I gained weight during quarantine, but I have not lost my motivation to hit the gym and I’m feeling a bit more motivated to cook (motivation level is probably a 3 on a scale from 1 to 8, but it’s a start). Since I’m 40 now, I have to be more in-tune to what I am eating and how my body reacts to it. My main goal now is to get back into those clothes I bought in 2019 lol. While I do want that, I am still accepting my body at it’s current state. It’s beautiful, it’s my temple, and I cherish it (I’ll be posting nudes soon on The Gram… kidding… or am I???).

My main goal for my 40’s is to have a good time. Enjoy life as much as I can, with people I enjoy being around. I do want to explore a career change and create a little side business as well, so work will be involved, but definitely trying to work smarter, not harder. I’m ready to date (and fuck on somthin’); accepting previous dating mistakes, breaking this crazy cycle I had gotten myself, and looking forward to meeting new guys. There will be more home improvements, more communication and self -expression, and more blog posts… I’m 40 ya’ll!!