Will You Go With Me?

Circle “Yes” or “No”

In your younger years, did you ever slide one of those notes to someone you were crushing on? I did! 8th grade, Algebra class, Nicole F******n, she said “no” lol. I had a huge crush on her, she was so cool, very cute, and intelligent. She did let me down somewhat easy, stating we’d be a different high schools the following year, but still, a no is a no. And, yes at that time I was noticing by attraction to the boys, but I definitely was not acting on it, so I played it “straight”.

Not much happened for me in High School in this area either. I had a girlfriend for about a month, who turned into one of my bestfriends to this very day. Other than her and the random girl I took to prom, dating was nonexistent. At this time, I surly knew I liked boys, had several boy crushes in high school, but again, no way I was taking action. I kept to myself, felt like I was the only one, though that proved to be untrue after leaving high school and bumping into old classmates at the gay club or pride events, but at that time I felt I was on my own. I got picked on, was called gay, since I wasn’t as “hard” as some of the other boys. They had no confirmation, but you know how school kids are, and of course I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of being right, so I continued to hide in the shadows. I knew of no groups, nor had anyone to talk to about my sexuality, so it was suppressed… till I got to college…

Published by GillySJ

39, born and raised in the Chicago area. I like to call myself an introvert with a twist; enjoy being out and about, but love my time at home the most! Lover of food, music, performing and visual arts, travel, financial wellbeing, and philanthropy!

One thought on “Will You Go With Me?

  1. I can definitely relate to all of this as I struggled with accepting my sexuality throughout grade school and college. I was the chubby guy who didn’t have any desire to play sports and was called “gay” since elementary school. I tried dating a female in middle school, but that was a disaster. I tried again in high school, but I knew it would eventually fizzle. As I got older I hid behind college, grad school and work, but eventually I had to accept myself without apology. It’s amazing how times have changed as now so many younger individuals identify as LGBTQIA+ and own it unapologetically. I’ve always wondered what life would have been like for me if those supports were in place and I lived in my truth at a younger age. Thanks for sharing as it always helps me to process my own thoughts and feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

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