Circle “Yes” or “No”
In your younger years, did you ever slide one of those notes to someone you were crushing on? I did! 8th grade, Algebra class, Nicole F******n, she said “no” lol. I had a huge crush on her, she was so cool, very cute, and intelligent. She did let me down somewhat easy, stating we’d be a different high schools the following year, but still, a no is a no. And, yes at that time I was noticing by attraction to the boys, but I definitely was not acting on it, so I played it “straight”.
Not much happened for me in High School in this area either. I had a girlfriend for about a month, who turned into one of my bestfriends to this very day. Other than her and the random girl I took to prom, dating was nonexistent. At this time, I surly knew I liked boys, had several boy crushes in high school, but again, no way I was taking action. I kept to myself, felt like I was the only one, though that proved to be untrue after leaving high school and bumping into old classmates at the gay club or pride events, but at that time I felt I was on my own. I got picked on, was called gay, since I wasn’t as “hard” as some of the other boys. They had no confirmation, but you know how school kids are, and of course I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of being right, so I continued to hide in the shadows. I knew of no groups, nor had anyone to talk to about my sexuality, so it was suppressed… till I got to college…
One thought on “Will You Go With Me?”
I can definitely relate to all of this as I struggled with accepting my sexuality throughout grade school and college. I was the chubby guy who didn’t have any desire to play sports and was called “gay” since elementary school. I tried dating a female in middle school, but that was a disaster. I tried again in high school, but I knew it would eventually fizzle. As I got older I hid behind college, grad school and work, but eventually I had to accept myself without apology. It’s amazing how times have changed as now so many younger individuals identify as LGBTQIA+ and own it unapologetically. I’ve always wondered what life would have been like for me if those supports were in place and I lived in my truth at a younger age. Thanks for sharing as it always helps me to process my own thoughts and feelings.
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