Pandemic Pause

Didn’t we all have high hopes for 2020? The year started off great! I was feeling good, energy was up, body was looking good, I was being social, celebrated mom’s 70th, traveled to ATL, met some online friends for the first time, even got a crushes number at the club. Then, skrrrrrrttt! Everything comes to a halt!

I do not know the exact timeline, but I want to say the news surrounding C-19 (I’m not using the full name in case posts are being flagged) started picking up toward the end of February. Italy was seeing a lot of cases, but it was still a whisper here in the states. I had friends that traveled to Italy in March, who made it back to the states literally days before Italy shut down. Thankfully, they had no health issues. I got sick after returning from Atlanta in March, and panicked a little bit, but the ER doc assured me it was just a sinus infection (they weren’t even doing testing for C-19 at the time). Shortly after that, events get canceled left and right, places start shutting down, cities went on lock down, and I end up working from home for the indefinite future (still as of the date of this post).

Sheltering in place threw me for a loop initially. As an introvert I thought I would be fine. I’d lounge, I’d eat, watch some tv, and rest up. Chile… after the first week or so I was on edge! Working from home 5 days a week (6 or 7 with OT), was not that easy initially. Especially, when you cannot go out and do something afterward to break the monotony. My mood was all over the place. Some days were good, other days I was sad with low energy. It was kind of like that Ari Lennox song “New Apartment”, where she realizes she actually needs people and not sure her apartment. I used to say I was an introvert with a twist, meaning I enjoy my quiet, but like to be an out and about as well. That has proved to be true during this time!

Adjustments were made and eventually I mellowed out. Therapy sessions turned into Facetime sessions, as well as other doc appointments. Friends gathered on Zoom, which I had never heard of before this started, even did a Zoom B-day dinner for one friend (that may be the case for mine next week too). Masks became the norm for grocery runs. Contactless delivery from Grub Hub and them. DJ’s going on IG live to brighten our spirits. Social media popping off to stay connected and entertained. Even a few more hits on the “dating” apps. (Side Note: This actually would be a good time to get to know someone new; endless conversations till in person dates can be done again, but I just haven’t been feeling it).

Thankfully I found ways to stay occupied. I painted a bedroom. Organized closets. Got rid of old paperwork and clothes. Finished decorating my office. And, I’ve been browsing other home improvements I can get the ball rolling on. That felt good. I also bought some more plants to take care of, which made me happy as well. Money I saved from eating out and transportation went into my investment accounts. Plus, I’ve been able to make a good dent in my student loan payments while they’re in forbearance. Oh!! I cut my hair myself and even tried a new look; a bald head! I still miss physical contact and the energy I get from other people. I kind of feel like I’ve regressed in some of the steps I’ve made in therapy, especially around my social anxiety, but I have to remind myself that is not true. This has definitely been an unprecedented time, but we will make it through!